Posted by: guinness222 | July 23, 2006

Zapped from the twilight zone !!!!

Remember all that “six degrees of separation” stuff. Sounds good in theory, but I got one better,…you’ll love this!
About four or five monthes ago my cell phone bit the dust. (Totally immersed in water for about thirty seconds and kaput from there on out.) Now for the first time in my adult life I had actually been smart because it was a Blackberry I got the handset insurance. Step 1, call my Nextel dealer,”Take it to the Nextel Repair center downtown, they’ll just swap it out for you.” EXCELLENT! and away I go. A while later I sign a paper, they hand me the new one and tell me there will be a $35 charge for the exchange on my next bill. God I love having been smart enough to get the insurance! It was worth it,…or so I thought.
Flash forward to last Wednesday night, I get home, pick up the mail, come in the house, change into my “comfy” clothes, pour a glass of my favorite Austrailian Shiraz, drop into the relcliner and start opening the mail. Usual “FREE mortgage quote”, “0% finance charge until Christmas” crap, and a letter from Nextel. (They are always wasting postage trying to push the free phone with a new line, yada, yada,yada! Normally I would have just trashed it, but on the off chance that meant I could get a second Blackberry for my wife, I open them.) BIG mistake.
“Dear sir, our technician has determined that the Blackberry handset you turned in three months ago is definately DBR, (damaged beyond repair), therefore we are sending you a brand new Blackberry and postage paid return packing to return the re-furbished one you recieved and have been using. We will also be charging your account $399.58 for the new unit. Thank you for…….”
“Attention Houston, the rocket has gone ballistic, and is travelling downrange from the recliner to the telephone at extreme speed with strange sounds emmanating from it.” I literally punch in the “866” number from the letter, should I have “any questions in this matter”. Damn right I got questions!
After ten minutes of elevator music while I wait “for the next available agent” I get a human being, the usual this is Maryann (or some such) may I help you. And the fencing begins. I tell her the story, I tell her I’m very happy with the one they gave me, it’s working fine, I don’t need or want another one, and much less I don’t even want to hear about a $399.58 charge, so correct it now,please.
“Sir you signed an agreement when you brought your broken phone in to us and we gave you a re-furbished unit, do you remember that?”
“Of course I do it was a receipt, and I also filled in the srvice card and commented how quickly and accomodating your folks were, so what!”
” Well sir if you had taken the time to read it more closely you will see that you agreed to pay for a new unit if our technicians ultimately determined it was damaged beyond repair. “
“That’s why I opted for the handset insurance on it when I bought it originally, check your records please, you’ll see it right on the bill every month, and you’ll notice the bill is paid every month on time, no problems, etc.”
“Yes sir I see that, but that doesn’t cover this situation.”
“WHAT! You have to be kidding? It is a handset, it doesn’t work, what the hell is the insurance for? It fell into water for thirty seconds and quit, that’s why I bought the insurance.”
” You would have to take that up with the insurance company sir. The insurance covers the loss of the cell phone unit in water. Did you contact them?”
“So you’re telling me if I went down to the ocean and threw the son of a b***** in the ocean, then called you and said I lost it in the ocean, then the insurance would take care of it?”
Yes sir, that’s correct.”
“Get me a supervisor. I need to talk to a reasonable person capable of thinking. “
More damn elevator music.
“Hello Mr. Guinness, this is Corey, my agent tells me you are having a problem?
“That’s correct, let me fill you in….” so I re-iterate the entire situation again and the senselessness of everything.
“Well Mr. Guinness, I see your point, but you did sign the paper when you picked up the refurbished unit to use, and it clearly states,……”
“Look Corey, you sound intelligent, can’t we just get to the heart of this matter? I don’t want, or need a brand new phone. The one you gave me works perfectly well. I am a happy camper. No harm, no foul, just cancel the whole thing and we can all get back to our regularly broadcast lives. Simple enough?”
“I can’t do that sir, you did sign the form.”
“Look Corey, I can take and tell you to take your phone and shove it and go across the street to your competition and get a brand new phone FREE, and sign up for thier service which is just as good as yours!”
“That would be your perogative sir.”
“Are you telling me your boss doesn’t give a shit if you lose customers?
I guess not.”
“Fine so send the damn phone and let’s just be done with this insanity.”

And so it ended, or so I thought until I checked in on my “blog” the next morning and noticed I had a new comment on it. So I punch up the comments to read them and almost shit, for here was the comment I saw,
“Daniel Burton said,
Again sir thank you for calling Nextel, my name is Daniel and since I got off work after your call, in NO WAY am I here to help you today.
Just the same, it was nice talking to an intelligent person tonight.”

Is that twilight zone or what? I don’t remember even telling them I had a blog, let alone it’s title, or web location. I guess Big Brother can really reach out and touch someone!!

Scary huh?



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