Posted by: guinness222 | October 6, 2006

This has to be immoral, illegal, or fattening!!!

Friday night, the missus is about 1500 miles away in Boston (yeah, the tea party town!) on business for two weeks. My diet for the past two days has been 1 absolutely drop dead, to kill for, chocolate donut with chocolate frosting, a “fried egg sandwich” (it’s a Southern U.S. thing, a fried egg (hard yolk), a slice or two of spicy breakfast sausage. a slab of cheese (above and below), two slices of regular, un-healthy white bread (grilled like a grilled cheese), you take it, tear it apart, put VERY generous slathers of Mayonaisse on it, and ….VOILA!, a breakfast meal to jump start you entire body! Listen to those artieries closing, the sound of the cholesterol cranking up there with every bite, and GOD, when you liberally apply salt to both sides of the bread before consuming,…..this is what an oral orgasm is all about!!
(Sorry, I got carried away. 😦 )
This afternoon I had a meeting with a client until noon, she suggested lunch at a fantastic sort of Parisean Cafe place called the “Smiling Fish”. Grilled Yellowfin Tuna, an herbal mayo, with the “don’t eat them or you’ll die!” french fries, and then another meeting, and then my “crew” and a couple pints of Guinness at Buster’s. (Ain’t life grand!!)
Now I’m home, re-heated a culinary “piece d’resistance”from the other nights left-overs ,… fried spam, white American cheese, plain old white bread, God life is good!!
(Sorry again, if you are not hanging over the “porcelien god” wretching from my all to “shitty” descriptions, then you are a “soul-brother” of flat out “comfort food”.
OK, so a bit over the top, but now I’m here at my keyboard,(you can tell from the mispellings) with my second “goblet” of a delicate Shiraz from “down under” called Jacob’s Creek Reserve, sharing my inner soul with you!
Sure I’m going on 62, sure I’ve got a “Guinness prothesis” that announces my arrival and lost me the role of Fabio’s “body double”, but all that’s in my “drug drawer” is Vitamin C, Vitamin B complex, a 200mg Milkthistle tablet(take good care of your liver, you only have 1), and a “baby aspirin” (81 mg.). Like I’m preaching to everyone, “Guinness is the second coming of penacillin”!
Ok, serious aside. Ready?
Mr. Guinness’s philosophy on health and longevity:
God is definately no “Idiot”, look around you, he did it all in a few days!
God is no “bad guy”, what point would be in that ?
God KNEW we, the humanoids, would work extra hard to fuck up what he put out there for all of us.
God put a solution out there for everything, we just have to find it.
And on the afternoon of the seventh day God said, “Who’s got the Guinness?”
(No disrespect intended, but dump the freakin’ “perscription” solutions, forget the “over the counter” cures, put a stop payment on the last check fro you’re personal “psychic”, and go have a few pints of God’s nectar, Vitamin “G”, the “ultimate solution” for health,….have a pint of Guinness. (Don’t believe me? A good friend saw an interview with Brooke Sheilds, and she was extolling the merits of Guinness for thier newborn child!)

Am I too far over the top?
Screw it!!!

Hope you enjoy a “happy rant”.

Mr. G. (Alec to my friends, thank you Lucy!)


  1. I have many a friend who will agree with you on the G Theory.

    As for me…I don’t drink anything I can’t see through. I’m scared that way.

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