Posted by: guinness222 | January 29, 2007

Sorry folks, the last one was my annual "snowbird" rant!

Well, it’s like Al Pacino said in GFIII, “Just when you think you’re out they drag you back in!”
After about six years of “the pit” residing in it’s “typical” feng shui my loving wife “suggested” I look at re-arranging it a bit. Well five hours later, sweating like a Kentucky derby winner, here I am amidst “piles” again!
The two, no not one, but two, six foot bookcases went from one wall to the other, not bad, but both had to be completely emptied moved, and then re-loaded. (God love the Dude who invented those little “moving men” gizmos or I’d be dictating this to my night nurse inside my body cast, me inside the cast not her, but it does pose an interesting image!) They are different sizes but essentially the ones I love are about as big as an oversized saucer, made of plastic, have a foam type of pad on the saucer and looks like nothing special. But if you tip whatever you want, slide one of these under each corner, and voila, it’s like drawing a knife through butter to push or pull whatever you’re moving. “And now back to the originally scheduled story.”
So anyway, I began sorting through the stuff and making “piles”, you know the efficient, organized way of approaching the situation. There was a “supplies” pile, that’s for paper for the printer, pads of lined paper (assorted sizes), looseleaf binders, writing paper(resume and “official” shit), pens, paperclips, etc. etc. Well suffice it to say the “supplies” pile is big enough to open a small Office Depot store! Then there was the “BC era” or the “before computers”, that consists of my “blogs” going back to the late 1960’s. Before computers they were simply called “theraputic journals”, and since no one came over the house and found them and sat down and started reading them (interpret in 2007 as “hits”) thay have just languished in boxes, drawers, and stuff. (Really mad idea here of posting a few or even starting another blog called “The time machine,…rantings from before blogs”
This was my “renaissance period” as a writer, then I discovered I didn’t have to starve, hangout in coffee shops and bookstores, and be ignored,….I could just start a blog! (So that’s how we got here, but the forty years of rantings are still available, and the Library of Congress is not knocking at my door for them.
Then there are the computer books, a pile of at least sixty of them, from “Mosaic made easy”( if you need to ask what “Mosaic ” is you never witnessed the origins of the wheel!) And “Netscape Beta for beginners”, or how about “TCP/IP; a survival guide for users (dated 1983!) and Photoshop v 2.0, Pagemaker v2.3 to 7.0
and “PC’s for dummies”, or a hundred other such titles. More programs, manuals, templates, and floppy discs going in the trash. It will take about three weeks for the trash guys to get it all. In todays world if you put out too much they just leave it and ignore you!
And then there was my “big red looseleaf” it’s a five inch, heavy duty one, in which I cronicle all my business plans, new business concepts and research, etc. I got enough in that to teach three semesters of “Entreprenuerial Development” courses as well as a Phd dissertation. (sigh! it should get the heave ho, but it won’t, it’s my business mind on speed!)
And the dreaded audio-tapes (cassettes), CD’s, and almost twenty-five , no probably over thirty five years of “collecting”. Boy what a sorting party that’s going to be! And you know not a single one will get pitched! It’s music man! It would be somekind of Federal offense to throw music away,…at least!
And I guess it’s ok to think about throwing out the pre-2000 income tax returns(yep! got’em al the way back to 1985! And I’m still making the same thing? That sucks, but then again the “same thing” went a lot farther so I guess it’s not that my income has not kept pace, but my “overhead” is bonkers!
(Speaking of which I found a new way to drop dead quickly, live in Florida and sit down and open your home owners insurance re-newal package! This shit has to end it’s killing us!!! In 2000 when I bought this townhouse my total homeowners insurance, including “Hurricane Insurance” as only $600. My “preferred client”, with the “no claims ever filed” discount, and the 2% deductible for 2007 is $5,163.00!!!!
And the easy payment plan (100% in our hands by March 12th or you are cancelled) it’s no wonder more folks are going postal! That’s over 16.1% of my GROSS annual income (Yo, Doug, you got a spare room?) The deductible is over $6000 by itself. So in plain English I get to pay the insurance company $5,163 for the policy, get to eat the first $6,000 worth of the claim, get to pony up at leat $5,000 more to get a new roof when mine blows away in the hurricane, haave to wait for them to decide IF theyare going to cover the rest of the cost of the new roof (about $10,000 total),hmmmmmm, …seems to me this really sucks the big one! And guess what, if you have a mortgage you MUST carry it. Plus you think the bank gives a shit if your roof blew off? But be one week late with the mortgage payment, hurricane or no hurricane, and you are worse than Jeffrey Dahmer, or John Wayne Gacy as far as thier Rottweiler Department (asshole telephone collection dudes and dudettes) are concerned.
Well this has gotten my blood pumping sufficiently that I can get ready to go to work now, but GOD HELP the first asshole snowbird or “illegal parking” Nazi that has the misfortune of dialing my number today. They may wish they stayed in the womb, or better yet had not been concieved! (Yeah, I got attitude today, and I need to kick somebodies cat becasue it’s only 7:30 am, too early to go have a pint and calm down.
I’m sensing a 2 prozac kind of day!

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