Posted by: guinness222 | January 31, 2007

Hey, I get a new office!!

This job I have now is the first one I’ve ever had where I’m in a “cubicle”. I really think this is why workers have become mushrooms (i.e. kept in the dark, covered with shit, and supposedly “growing” in the company! Bull shit! In the “olden days” of office workers it was like a big open football field of people, desks etc. Even the file cabinets were somewhere else that you would have to walk to. Nothing was over 30 inches high so you had unlimited vision and could see a lot of things. Now for all the women out there it meant that you knew exactly who was wearing what, etc. And for the guys it meant the little blonde with the great bod could be ooogled “at will”. Now all there is is the damn cubicle! If you stand up the only way you can see anyone is if they are over 6 foot tall, or have either very distinctive hair color (God! Why did she use that color on her hair it looks like a rusty fire engine!) Or in the case of guys “Male pattern baldness” or again the distinctive hair styling. (Man if he ever tried to comb that he’d need a stainless steel horse comb!)
But those days are just about over. I’m moving out of the office to some office space in one of my clients buildings. (Lots of perks!! A full gym, and I mean full, a hot tub, a swimming pool, overlooking the Gulf of Mexico from a height of fifty feet, a gated underground parking garage,….I da’ man!!) Ok so I get the use of the gym, but not the rest,…but I can dream can’t I? Actually the old maintainence man I used to have at that property was an old “biker” and when there was an apartment in the building empty, that’s where he’d crash, weekends at the pool, used to bring over a few of his “biker bimbo’s” on the weekend and a case of Bud and hang out at the pool. He was a little scarry becasue none of the owners wanted to tell me about it for fear of retribution. When I did find out I let him go immediateely and kept the eye in the back of my head open for a couple of months, changed all the locks and gate codes, you know the usual “Oh shit” reactionary things.
But again I stray. This new office will at least get me out of the Office and the dreaded “cubicle”. I guess I’ll stick my head in the GM’s office and inquire about the new furniture for the office and see what’s said. The new office is equi-distant from my home so no big change there. But my paranoid littel organization insists we come pick up our mail at least four times a week so I’ll be “popping by” the old office periodically anyway.
Oh and the latest “big brother” toy, I escaped from from it. The company bought all of us managers new telephones. These Motorola “Q”‘s. It’s a blackberry type “wunderkind” phone. Has a built in camera, calendar, e-mail features, organizer , etc. oh yeah and you can make and recieve calls on it as well! BUT, (ah yes the mandatory “BUT”) it has a piece of software that resides on the companies server, and supposedly it “synch’s” your phone periodically. In plain English it let’s your phone talk to the server, and it talks back. Or is that in another paranoid context, your phone rats you out to Big Brother. “Why did you call Joe-Joe the bookie twelve times this past week end, he’s not a client. And what about the followup you said you did, the phone can foind no record of any e-mail activity or telephone calls between you and the client, and while we are at it the built in GPS indicated your phone was at the beach all afternoon Wednesday, I thought you said you were visiting your key clients all Wednesday afternoon?”
But my Blackberry and I remain resolute and independant, and as a sort of “bribe” not to tell my fellow workers of the “Big brother plot” I was allowed to keep my Blackberry and they even offered me a token monthly stipend to offset the costs!
Speaking of which, loyal readers, I just glanced up and I’ve got eleven minutes to shower, shave, get dressed, get to the office, and be a useful “troll” in the corporate arena for the day! (Looks like I’m going to be “on property” for the next hour or so before appearing live and in color at the office, or as Ed McMahon used to drawl,..”heeeeeeres Mr. Guinness”
Have a great day and don’t try and follow me!


  1. Sorry it’s been a while since I’ve commented. Congrats on the new office. The gym sounds nice. I hope everything else is well on the home front. One of these days I’ll actually update my posts. Oh, and I’ve been telling everyone that since I am pregnant and can no longer imbibe in my wonderful ales, lagers and other stuff you have my permission to have one on me 😀 But you have to tell me about it 😛

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