Posted by: guinness222 | February 17, 2007

I am a fundamentally lazy shit!

Yup, it’s true. The “pit” is still in disarray from three or four weeks ago when my wife suggested better “fung shei” or whatever it is. There are still six stereo speakers, two or three recievers (all from different lives of yesteryear.), an old 19″ TV(that’s going to my new office so I can track (God forbid they hit here!) Hurricanes this year, and other assorted shit I said I’d take care of three weeks ago. (sigh!)
Oh and in the process I found this correspondance course I had signed up for about four months ago that I just got to busy to do (quick call and got the deadline extended to April 1st,…oh shit that’s only a couple weeks away!)I did the only practical thing for a procrastinater to do with it. I mailed in the accompanying request for the test and proctor and set the date as March 25th, (that motivates me to “gitter dun!”. It’s not like I don’t want to take it, it means a $500 bonus if I pass it, a bevy of little letters after my name on buiness cards, it ups my annual salary value about $10,000, and makes me a really attractive person to hi-jack away from my company for more money! Looks like the pit will go on hold until I finish this course! Oh and I signed up for another, classroom this time, two course, one in May, and one in August! (Glutton for punishment?) When I found out I could get a $500 bonus for each one I passed from my company, enhanced my earning power by a total of 200% if I get the highest level (total of six courses and a “time in grade” factor of three years),…well shit, at the rate I’m taking them I can have it all and be at the educational pinnicle of my profession and salary potential within 18 more months and pick up a cool three thousand in bonuses along the way! What the hell, call me “getting educated” at 62.
Ooops! that’s next week. B-day is the 22nd, and even though I’m eligible for the monthly Social Security payment, I’m going to put it off until I’m 65 so I can get the max rate and have no earning “cap” on what I can make. All I got to hope and pray is that our elite cadre of idiot politicians don’t screw it all up for me! But then again if they do,…hell you’ll read about me in the headlines and on CNN Headline news, see me walking with the leg irons and handcuffs, watch me sitting passively at the defendants table in my attractive international orange jump suit, for the six weeks of the trial and learn all about how society abused me, and I was a victim of my environment, and all that other happy horse shit! Bottom line? Like everyone else in this country I would then be given a “clean and well lighted palce” as Hemingway once wrote, three square meals a day, access to a library, TV, a defined exercise program, etc. etc., and even if they awarded me the death penalty the average American convicted and given the death penalty, spends about sixteen to eighteen years until it’s carried out! What with appeals, all the bennies, free medical, dental, food, shelter etc. Shit by them I’d be in my 80’s and propbably ready to discuss the “end game”!
Why is it politicains are such freakin’ idiots? And how do I get a piece of that action? Let’s talk about somneone who earns respect. Who in Washington D.C. has earned respect? My one candidate for it is Senator McCain of Arizona. Seven years in captivity as a Prisoner of War, a diet of rice and bugs, daily beatings, and just all round shit,…that man deserves respect! What the hell has Barack, Hillary, Mr. Hillary, or most of those other losers on the hill done to earn my respect of them?
Boy, how’ed I get to this rant! Guess it’s just a Saturday morning plenty of sleep, some free time today, and the weekly venting process. Sorry kids, I ranteth too much today!
-30-


Responses

  1. Just came across your blog. I used to live in Santa Rosa Beach, FL in the early 90s. I am sure it has changed a ton, but I miss it. Is Goatfeathers still around?

  2. Stephen,
    Yo, nice to have you aboard! Yeah, Goatfeathers is still there.
    Sorry got to run, but please drop another line and check back in on the “blog”.
    If nothing else I “lay it on the table”
    Thanks
    Mr. Guinness


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