Posted by: guinness222 | March 24, 2007

Stupid people, in stupid times

Welcome to spring break in Florida! Yesterday we had two drownings, earlier this week some shit-faced kid fell off a three story roof (don’t even ask why he was up there!)he did’t get hurt because he was so freaking drunk! Proves the old adage “God takes care of drunks and sinners” (maybe I should think about that a little more and stop being a good guy. Naw…then my stupid conscience would just nag the shit out of me, I’d stress big time, get sick and have a heart attack, ….then what?)
It’s a Saturday morning and sunny, warm and beautiful, in the mid 70’s, so how does my day off start? “ring”, “ring”, “Hello it’s me”(I know who I am, but do you?) Yeah it’s me, (the maintainance guy at one of my more prestigious properties) So here’s the conversation:
HIM: “ah,..I, found some stuff in the hot tub”
ME: ” so you thought you’d call me on Saturday morning at 8 am to tell me?”
HIM: “Well…I think there were some improprieties going on here last night,…you know?”
ME: “Like what?”
HIM: “Well,…there was a pair of panties and a used condum in the hot tub.”
ME: “Well,…I guess that’s a pretty good clue. So why are you calling me?”
HIM: “I guess we’ll have to start a security patrol next week.”
ME: ” Now that’s another good thought.”
HIM: “Yeah.So what do you want me to do about this “stuff”?”
ME: “So get it out of the hot tub, trash it, drain the hot tub, sanitize it, and refill it.”
HIM: “Oh, ok I’ll get started on it next.”
ME: “No wait a minute, why don’t we just leave it where it is, call the newspaper and get them to do a story on it. And don’t forget to tell every guest and owner about it, not to mention thier kids.”
HIM: (loooong silence) “really?”
ME: (sigh) No not really, just clean it all up and don’t go blabbing it all over the place. I was only chidding…..You do understand that, right?”
HIM: “oh sure, I knew that. But do you want me to tell anyone else about it?”
ME: “NO!! Just clean it up and go about your business. Have a good day.”

And thus begins my “day off”.
Know anyone wanting to be a “Courtesy Patrol” agent for my property. Perverts not allowed.
Well, I’m going to have some coffee and watch the sun rise a little higher in the skys.
Be well.

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