Posted by: guinness222 | September 25, 2007

God! The 25th already?

Time just has a way of whizzing by. On a number of occasions I’ve thought about time, in fact I really dwelt on it. Sometimes good,….sometimes not. For example let’s look at time BAD. That’s kind of like mowing the grass and the mower begins to look like it’s maybe six inches wide, and the yard is growing from a 6′ by 8′ patch to a hundred acres! That’s the example where you want time to fly, but alas it’s an entirely new career istead.
Now Time GOOD, having a couple of pints, good conversation, laughing, joking, being a real part of “the spirit of life”,….and BAM, you glance at your watch and it’s already late evening and you wanted to be home early to relax for that big meeting first thing in the morning! That’s where the clock is whizzing around like a cartoon and an hour seems like a minute!
Now there is the theory of the “life TIME”. It’s kind of like the good time,bad time thing as well. The only thing is that as you get older it’s going in the right “GOOD TIME” direction, but your inner mind and spririt is screaming, “NO, NO, slow this thing down it’s going to be over too fast, I want to enjoy it more!” But as a famous somebody once said I’m sure , “It ain’t happenin’ Jack!”
Maybe that’s why old folks can just sit by the hour, and hour after hour, after hour, and be so amused at “the little things”. Or perhaps why the young work so hard at multi-tasking and “crackberry” devices to suck in more in less time, …becasue it’s roaring by, out of control, daevil may care,…and in short, just complete chaos and mayhem.
Perhaps, I shall postulate, there is no “cross-over point”, no point in life where you go from the spinning clock to the slow motion clock, or vice versa. Maybe the speed of youth simply is another “proof” of inertia, (A/K/A ” a body in motion will tend to stay in motion”) and perhaps aging is God’s way of proving the other half of that “proof”, (a body at rest will tend to stay at rest”)
Now yesterday I had to solve our “health Insurance” dilemma. So I just picked up the mouse, googled “private health care plans” and ZAP! a screen asking me to fill in the blancks and get four responses in minutes. (God I love the internet! I’ve always been one to want to know the “ballpark” I’m playing in, and then I’ll sniff out the particulars becasue It’s a matter of more than the norm, in price, or less than the norm. So I hit the “enter” key, and bam! sixteen healthcare plans come up with links to the details of each, the prices of each, etc. As God is my judge I was looking over only the fifth one on the page and my phone rang!
“Hi, Mr. C******, this is Ron Zolone from Healthcare is us, I see you’re looking for affordable yet good health insurance for you and you’re wife. Is that correct?”
(DAMN!!! TALK ABOUT “BIG BROTHER” WATCHING) “ahhh, yeah, how did you know?”
“You’re data came up on my screen and I hit the auto-dial and here we are.”
“No Shit!!” (It’s all I could say I was still in schock at how fast it happened!)
Long story short within ten minutes this guy has a perfect plan cranking for me, right benefits, right deductibles, right everything, from a nationally known company I probably never would have thought of looking up.
“And that includes all the office visits free, right, And the perscription deductible is only $15 for anything, no matter what? And it has a lifetime $5,000,000 limit, right? And it is only half of what I was paying through my employer, right?”
“Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes. Are there any other questions?”
” How do I sign up and how long before it’s in effect?”
“I’m going to put you on hold then connect you with an Underwriter, they willask you a few questions and in fifteen minutes or so poof, you are insured in full from that moment on.”
“What about paying for it. I thought you had to pay for it before you were covered?”
“No problem, I can take a credit card for your first month over the phone, or we can draft the first month premium right out of your checking account tonight and at midnight you’re covered”
“No shit! Now I’m impressed! BUT, what if I find out someof this stuff you’re saying it has and all is not true, and my claim is denied?”
“I’m giving you my name, my phone number, and a fourteen digit confirmation code, everything we’ve talked about has been recorded and will remain archived for six months, and at anytime during that period you find anything I said is not true, call the number, read the code number and you get the entire premium back from today until the end of the six months, and we have still paid for everything that happened inbetween! Sound good?”
“Bring on the underwriter!”
And the questions began. It was like having someone read an entire medical journal to you, at high speed,for example, “haveyoueverhadanyform orbrain tumor, diabetes,lackofsairtothe earsortherwise beenhospitalizedonthursdays orfridays? And so it went for about ten minutes. I adopted the “if I’ve never heard of it I probably ain’t ever had it” reply. (“andinthemorningdoesyoureyeturngreenandyellow?” “Nope!”) and on it went. Then she says, “ok can I speak with your wife and get her responses?” So I give the phone to the wife and go about my business. About fiveminutes later she comesin and hands me back the phone and says “They rejected us.” “What!!” “Yup, they said I was two pounds overweight for the medication I’m taking.” “You’ve got to be shitting me,….two POUNDS overweight, are you sure?
So I call this dude back and say what’s up with this two pounds shit?
“Well we are very rigid about who we accept,that’s why the mopnthly price is so low.”
“Ok let’s start again and I’ll tell her shave the two pounds off when they ask her next time,..ok?”
“Sorry your phone number is logged as well as your names and dates of birth in our mega data base, it’s there forever,…can’t help you there, but forabout twice the price I might be able to get you another policy with another vendor,…how ’bout it?”
So Iwas left to my devices,…a story I’ll fionish tomorrow, stay tuned!
-30-


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