Posted by: guinness222 | November 18, 2007

Rage is a powerful pile of shit!!

Dumb title, but you’re reading on aren’t you? Ok so what’s it about? Like the theme song from the old Gilligan’s Island said, “Sit right back and I’ll tell a tale, a tale of a mighty,…” (whatever the hell it was!)

Sitting back, got your coffee, Guinness, bottled water, or other baverage of choice? Buckle up kids, here we go!

It’s Sunday morning, I just got home from church, poured a cup of coffee and decided to give Blue Cross/Blue Sheild, the health care provider I applied to for insurance back in September a call and see what was up, since all I have now is a 30 day, renewable policy month to month until they “decided” whether to issue my wife and I a plan. “They’re not open on Sunday.” says the wife, but good old me says, “people get sick on weekend too, someone’s got to be there!” so I call. After the obligatory “push 1 for english”, press 48 for human beings”, press 37 for human beings with a brain”, and finally after 27 of those buttin pushing exercises the final one, “press zero for an operator”. (Shit I could have done that on button number one if I knew that’s where we are going with this!)
“Hello, this is Tamara, may I help you?”
“Yes Tamara, thank you for answering so quickly, this is Mr. Guinness and I would like to check on my application for the health insurance plan I applied for for myself and my wife. Can you help me with that?”
“Certainly sir, when did you apply ffor it?”
“September 24th”
“And the last four digits of your social security number?”
“1234”
“…and your zip code?”
“..32459.”
“and your full street address?”
” 3245 Happy Camper Lane.”
“…and lastly your date of birth?”
“…February 22, 1945.”
“One moment sir I’m pulling that information up on my screen”
“No problem Tamara.”
“Ok sir I have it up on my screen now.”
“…And?”
“You and your wife have been permanently declined.”
“That sounds a little onerous Tamara,…what does “permanently declined” mean?
“Well, it means we aren’t going to provide you with the health insurance permanently, for any reason, at any time in the future.”
“Ok,…but why are we being “permanently declined?”
“Based on your Doctors medical records.”
“Wait a minute he told me I’m fine, and has been every year for the past six or so. He asks me to quit this, change that, lose a few pounds, but other than that that’s it. What is so bad about that?
“Well sir in October of ’05 he said you had “impaired fasting glucose”, that right there is a permanent decline by our rules. And at the same time he said you had an “abnormal echo cardiogram”, and then in February of ’06 he indicated in the records that you had evidence of Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease.”
“He never told me any of that shit!”
“Sorry sir, that’s what’s in the records.”
“Ok, so what about my wife, can we at least get her on an individual plan?”
“No sir, she’s under a permanent decline classification as well.”
“For what?”
“Well in April of ’04 she was diagnosed with “Rheumatoid Arthritis in both hands”, that’s a permanent decline all by itself, but in September of ’06 she also had an “Abnormal Echo Cardiogram”, and then in April of this year her “lipids were inconsistent with her height and weight”, all of those are permanent decline criteria.”
“Wonderful, so what are my options here?”
“None sir.”
“What do you mean none, that’s sort of final, end of the road, “tout finis”.”
“Yes sir that’s correct.”
“So you mean we can’t get health insurance,…period!”
“Yes sir.”
“But the Doctor never, ever, told me any of that stuff.”
“Sorry sir, is there anything else I can do for you?”
“Yeah,…what do I do now, there is only six days left on the temporary policy you guys offered me while you went through the application process.”
“Your only option is to get on a group plan with your company sir.”
“Thank you Tamara, you’ve been nice, helpful, but the answers were all wrong.”
“Sorry sir, have a nice day. Goodbye.”
“yeah, you too.”

The phone is hung up, my mind is swirling, and “rage” is bubbling up,…big time!
If I can’t get health insurance I’m screwed. Not only will a simple Doctor’s visit wipe out a week’s pay, but then how do you pay your bills, the spiral gets deeper, darker, and scarier after that. The options narrow until you have to wind up handing out carriages at Walmart and saying “Welcome to Walmart” just to get health insurance,….now that is scarrier than shit,…BIG TIME!”

So I guess I’ve got a “quest” for the week. Now where the hell did my old side-kick, Pancho go? I hate fighting windmills without him.

Oh, by the way tell me this isn’t forcing a “socialized medicine” structure down our throats? Only healthy people get health insurance, and then I’ll bet the bastards disqualify you on stuff that showed up twenty years ago.
I told my wife, I think it’s pure horse shit. I think the folks in the Doc’s office who put the little “codes” on the bill they send to the Insurance company manipulate the shit out of things to get the higher of the “fees allowed”. While the Doctor tells me the echo-cariogram was simply a “test” to “give us a baseline for the future, if you ever do have a problem”, and the “evidence of COPD (that’s the folks you see carrying the little green oxygen tanks and tubes runninng from them up thier nose at the mall)covers his ass if I get lung cancer from smoking, which I stopped a few years ago when he suggested it. So far as “impaired fasting glucose” you can bet your sweet ass that I’m the first call of the day tomorrow and the opening lines are going to go like this:
“Dr. P***** Office, may we help you?”
“Yes please I really need to talk to the Doctor, it’s a mattter of life and death!”
“What is the nature of this call?”
“Apparently my fasting glucose is totally shit-faced, my heart is bopping along in time with a Grateful Dead tune, and since I have Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease I’m not breathing. Don’t put me on hold because from the scary sounds of all that shit, the Insurance company telling me I’m “permanently declined”, There is probably a very good possibility I may become irrational, psychotic, and may even have to be put into a prison for grevious bodily harm to other human beings in order to get health insurance, …or I’m just going to sit in your waiting room until I die. Just tell the Doc, we gotta talk! This is pure bullshit! If I’m in this bad a shape why don’t I get follow up tests, appointments, second visits to moniter this shit? Why is it every year I get a “well you’re fine, a few minor adjustments to eating habits, maybe try some exercise, and we’ll see you at your next annual physical”
Someone is shoveling vast quantities of animal waste, and I just want to be able to put someof it where “the sun don’t shine”.
You are fuckin’ with me , and I take a dim view of that!
-30-


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