The Emerald Rose

     Was occupied this morning doing a number of unnecessary things, of no particular interest to anyone, about anything that remotely affected them. Clear enough? Good!

   It’s Friday,……YEAH!!!! That means I don’t have to get up tomorrow, (but I will,…because I always do! DUH!). I was doing a little thinking though. What happens to all these blogs I write and where do they go and for how long? I know the “logical” answer, they go to some big ass server computer at the other end of the line and become available to anyone on this earth with a computer for as long as they are there! But how long is that? It’s not like after 12 months and no renewal, or check, for your subscription to National Geographic they just pull you from the list. Even our government, the driver’s licence folks will eventually figure out you either said “Screw it, I’m just gonna keep driving with no licence. I’ve been paying them for almost 50 years so they know I know how to drive, …and besides I need the money more than them”

      Hell even the IRS will cut you off if they don’t get a tax return. Sure nice to think back and remember my old buddy Mikie still owes them $12,000 plus -penalties, interest, etc. etc. etc. and when he “went” all there was left was eight pounds of ashes. That’s $1500 a pound if they want them,….ooops forgot, we scattered them in the Gulf of Mexico,…Sorry big greedy Uncle! You lose!!

      But the internet blog thing, who sends out notices saying “Your free blog hosting space is expired, your blogs will no longer be available in the ether layer after the 29th of next month. We regret having to make this decision, but our hard drives are now occupying every square inch of half the globe and we must make room for a new Starbucks. Thank you for your understanding and cooperation in this matter. -The Big Server in the Sky”

       Even scarier, for you not me. Imagine fifty years from now, your kids are all wrapped up in a quilt by the fire, burning the last of the furniture for warmth, just finishing their “Tabby Treat” dinner and babysitting their great grand children when little Seymour, the four year old turns to Grandma, adjusts his personal eyepiece entertainment/computer center and says something like, “Boy Grandma, I was just reading your old blogs from when you were single and in your twenties,…boy what a hottie you must have been! And what’s a ‘Johnson’ that you are always talking about getting more of ?” (like that’s why babysitting an species smarter than you is a lose-lose situation!)

      FLASH!!! Just uploaded the iTunes upgrade and got an e-mail about the iTunes thing called “iUniversity. Checked it out and they are colleges and college lectures you get for ZERO, download to your ipod and and there you are, walking down the avenue attending a lecture on Quantum Physics and it’s effects on Primal Ritual Mating Exercises of Polar Bears. How much better does it get, I’m freakin’ out here. I got time now on my drive to work each day to check my Blackberry for messages, zip out a couple of e-mails and acknowledgements, check the opening of the market, see the final scores of all the Major League Ping Pong Tournaments, and NOW I can get a PHD or two a month all while I’m driving. Life is a beautiful thing Hey?

       Oh and while we are on dealing with smarter species than yourself every Friday when I go to the Drive up window to make my deposit for the week I like to joke with the tellers. I pull childish stunts like start to say some thing like “Good Morning how,……………….” and just keep moving my lips but say nothing. They freak out!, They mash the button on the microphone talkie transmitter, they talk about three times louder, you know,…”I”M SORRY I DIDN”T CATCH WHAT YOU SAID LAST COULD YOU REPEAT IT PLEASE?” ( Well  i’m accomodating so I lean over towards the microphone and go , “Sure, I,….are …..you doing,………today?” Remember they asked me to repeat it! 🙂

       My other favorite is particularly effective on new tellers. As you pull up you get this harried look on your face and as soon as they speak you say, “Am I too late?” They will say “For what , sir?” (don’t ya just love lemmings?) you reply with that serious, but still harried look, “The samples, today is the day the bank is giving samples right?” If they smile, chuckle, or otherwise indicate they “got it” you smile and say something really pithy like “Gotcha” If they have the audacity to say “Samples of what sir?”. Well, my advice at that point is count your change twice and don’t put it in drive until you’ve verified the deposit receipt.

       Why is it so hard to get a good lifeguard for the gene pool?

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