The Emerald Rose

No not me fearless reader, I already found out years ago that a boat truly is a hole in the water you throw money into. But I guy I ran into yesterday at the Pub hasn’t learned that lesson yet.
I was just sitting there at the Pub, minding my business checking the e-mails on my B’berry to be sure all the bases wer covered for the day, and of course savoring that first sip of Guinness. This guy three stools over says, “Oh, you figured out that Blackberry yet?” To which I haughtily commented “Had it for three years now, I would hope so.” He, of course, shows me his phone which was a brand new Blackberry I hadn’t seen yet from AT&T. “I figure I’ll play with it for a couple a’ weeks then maybe ready the book that came with it and plug in that CD too.”
Anyway, we chatted, come to find out he just moved here about two months ago permanently from the Colorado area. Seems he decided since he was 45, didn’t ski anymore, was able to get BIG $ for the family ranch, just outside of Vail (for those unfamiliar with Vail, it is Yuppie, wealth heaven, truly a place where Biff and Muffy go for a weekend and dine on the Argentinian Filets and Quail eggs from New Zealand while laboring to find a “good” Bordeaux amongst all the “other” shabby wines. Such a life, but then again someone has to do it.)
So I said something like “Welcome to the Seacoast.” He then proceeded to tell me how he had made an absolute killing selling out, and had come down here on a location hunting trip to find a place he really wanted to live in and hang out, cause he had a “heap of other places I wanna travel to as well.” (Cool, so why do I have an urge to start talking like Mr. “Champagne kisses and golden wishes” himself, Robin Leach?)
“Yup, I come down here all by myself last winter for two months all over Florida lookin’ to pick the right place,….and here I am!” ( For joy, for joy, be still my excitement ridden heart, for someone has found us on this God foresaken beautiful beach surrounded by every matter of modern convienece and shopping facility, not to mention the hundreds of eateries. We’re Saved!)
“So why here?” I politely asked.
“Cause I wanna get me a big boat. (Right! Sounds like a reason to me.) “I been out lookin’ now for about three weeks and I’m putting an offer in tomorrow on a 36 footer for starters.”
“36 feet huh? That’s a pretty big “first boat”.”
“I had me a 16 footer back at the Lake in Vail, never had any problems with that.”
“Right,…well just be careful you don’t “over step” yourself, I’ve owned boats and they can be more trouble than they are worth sometimes.”
“Oh I know, but you guys got that big marina down there, you know the one you just call in your order, like a Deli?”
“Oh, OK, I know right where you are talking about.” (It was like a deli. Your boat, up to 38foot is pampered, taken out of the water hand dried, gone over like a new-born and put away. If you want to go out you “call ahead”, like the Deli. Tell them when, what time, how many guests going with you, what you want on the boat when you arrive, etc. “Yeah maybe four or five, hell make it six, bottles of Dom for the girls, case of Heineken for cousin Charlie, four case a’ Bud, Longnecks only, maybe eight or ten t-bones, naw forget the t-bones, how ’bout some lobster salad and some of that kinda small loaf crunchy outside bread,…yeah, bagettes that’s the ones. We’ll be down about 10 Saturday mornin’ and be back in about eight that night, got dinner reservations for nine, so we’ll kind be in a hurry when we get back, you boys be sure and be ready for us and I’ll spot you an extra hundred before we pull out in the mornin’! Good by you?”)
This guy obviously watched too many “life styles of the rich and famous” re-runs.
“Well I gotta go meet up with this guy to look at another house here. I still haven’t really warmed up to anything they been showing me, but after I get the boat deal all settled in and done I’ll start getting serious about the house. One thing at a time, don’t want to get all stressed out, you know?”
“Oh yeah, believe me I know, gotta keep all the plates spinning can be a real stress inducer, that’s why I pop in for my Guinness in the evening before I go home.”
“Well you been real nice, once I get that boat in I’ll give you a call and then maybe you and your wife and me and mine can go for a cruise on the boat, sound good?”
“Oh yeah, by all means, you just take care getting sellted in and make sure you really think the boat thing through good, they are expensive.”
“Oh I ain’t worried about that, money ain’t the problem, I just want to make sure it’s big enough to last me four or five years, you know, so it ain’t too small by next year and then I’d have to go get another bigger one and have to worry about sellin’ this one. That’s a real pain in the ass, and I’m sure I’d stress out a bit over it.”
“Well been nice meeting you, good luck, I’m sure I’ll see you around the neighborhood.”
And he left. Will I see him again, yeah, probably on the front page of the paper, “U.S. Coast Guard rescues vessal and six people stranded and adrift in the Gulf of Mexico. Sources said the owner was “new to the water” and not familiar with the boat” Wanna bet?
Oh well, now for some excitement, “Hey Peggy, can you put one of those TV’s on that Wall Street whacko Kramer or something, I need a few chuckles before I head out.”
What ever happened to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches when you went boating? I guess “times they are a changin’ ”
Always a story at Buster’s, let me tell you. God I love people watching!
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