Posted by: guinness222 | August 29, 2008

Sorry,….I’m compelled to speak!

      Once upon a time I was a Democrat, but I learned! Then I became a Republican,…but again I learned! Now I’m just a totally confused old fart,…and I don’t see anything more worth learning,…about Presidential races and politics! There’s more than enough other things whaich are well worth learning, provided the politicians don’t screw it up to the point where we are playing “total nuclear obliteration”, and you know what? The damn cockroaches will be the winners, until they evolve to the point that one of them becomes a politician! AGAIN!

      Let me just recap things here, ..not for you, but for me. It’s getting too confusing and Dad always told me to write it done when it gets confusing, then it’s always easier to figure out.

      The Democrats have a black, unexperianced totally liberal lawyer who tends to stretch the truth a bit, but he must be a great lawyer because everytime he talks women swoon, guys (liberal guys) cry, and all he ever does is put a bunch of words together with liberal (no pun intended) amounts of the following words interspersed through out, “hope”, “dream”, “change”, “together”, “us”, and “thank you”. Is that right?

      And he has chosen a 36 year career “old hack” politician who knows shit about business, but slam dunks every election to keep his big cushy perk package, and, oh yeah, and “takes the train home every night”. The only thing this guy knows is how to reach even deeper in my pocket and take even the small change in taxes!

      Now the Republicans have a 78 year old, self styled “maverick” who has pissed off most of the “old hack” politicians at least three or four times each, and with a very lovely and super business woman wife who owns untold quantities of beer and beer distributorships. (And who gives a shit how many houses they own? They are considerate, they can move house to house to allow the maids to have ample time to change the sheets before they get back.)  BTW, rumor has it McCain and Biden are both “ranking mermbers” of “The Dead Pool”

      And this new Vice Presidential pick of his who appears to be a cross between “The Unsinkable Molly Brown, Annie Oakley, and the first girl I ever saw “chew ‘n spit”. (They say she hunts and fishes as well, well she’s in luck if McCain gets elected. The herd of two-legged sneaky sleaze-ball pole cats really needs thinning around Washington D.C., and if she likes fishing I’m sure she can more than “troll” the streets and alleys of DC and come up with hundreds of lobbyists, unemployed Congressional, Senate and Executive Branch staffers, and a few hundred thousand,um,…how can I put it ,..ah “Ladies of the night, or since it’s Washington, “Gentlemen of the night” (Equal Rights Scores another Democratic Triumph!!)

        Now I’m thinkin’ that McCain’s lovely wife already told him she’s not doing his shirts if he’s elected, and knowing that the cost of living is so bloody high in Washington, even for the President,…well he figures he’ll get a woman on the ticket and then she can be the head of the Department of ISJ, (Ironed Shirts and Jeans).

       Both these tickets make my favorite ticket look like the absolute slam dunk winning ticket,…..Donald Trump as VP and Pope Benedict the 16th for President! Picture the National Security Administration meetings;

          “So, Your Holiness President, there are no weapons of mass destruction, but Iran is printing over 1,000,000 Korans, in Spanish, a day and sending them to China, and the Chinese are re-shipping them South America with new pirated CD’s of our Rappers as fast as they can get them.”

          “Thank you my son, I’ll offer a few prayers for them in the weekly radio address this Saturday.

         “Bennie, are you nuts? Those towel-headed amateurs are cornering the market on Spanish Korans,…hell, I can get a few old apprentices together tell them it’s a special “re-union” Apprentice show, and they can slam out Bibles just a fast and we don’t really have to pay them shit, I’ll just promise them a shot at overseeing the new Trump Chill Project, you know the one I’m building as an underwater casino resort below the Polar Ice Cap!”

          “Donald, Donald, Donald I’m beginning to regret putting you on the ticket. I know, I know you gave Ivanka to the Little Sisters of the Holy Crutches to work her way up to Executive Head Nun,…and that was a sacrifice for both her and you, I know,…”

          “Come on Bennie, I told you when she gets through revamping the “bingo” cards to be “Trump” cards with tear off building fund pledge cards we’ll be able to buy the Pieta back. By the way you got screwed on the price when you sold it to Ariel Sharon. I told you I’ll do the negociating from now on.”

          “Excuse me your Holiness President, lunch is served in the Rose Garden.”

          “Bennie, tell me we’re not doin’ the damn fish again. Don;t you guys ever eat meat?”



  1. She still has more experience in ANYTHING than Obama has; and I would do her, too.

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