The Emerald Rose

        My friend David, from the Pub, is a pretty well heeled guy, but an ULTRA conservative investor, municipal bonds only, but it floats his boat. Anyway, David is in his mid-50’s, pretty decent shape just the “50’s pudge” around the edges, has a Mercedes or two, a couple Corvettes, and loves to play tennis. Now he originally came from Georgia, is married, no children, and over all is a pretty good guy,…BUT! But I can never figure him out at the Pub. One day he’ll come in and have a couple bloody Mary’s, another he’ll have two or three Guinness,others just Ginger Ale, and others a top shelf Margarita or two, and still others a “Bud”. Has this man no preferance, nor pride?

       Started me thinking about our preferences,…in virtually everything. For example, My man, sims, is a rabid Apple computer guy, I’ve other friends who won’t touch them. I love Guinness Stout, Jim & Linda like Bud Light, Eddie D. likes VO and Ginger, “Chili” likes Coors Regular, I like canned vegetables my wife can’t stand them. I’d like instant mashed potatoes any day over regular mashed potatoes. I love peanut butter on crackers, others hate them.

       I prefer really loose fitting clothes, other guys I know like the painted on ones. I like my hair “high and tight” closer to marine style, other guys don’t care (When it grows to the point it is touching the top of my ears I’ll kill to get a hair cut, it’s that annoying!)

       I like only percale sheets on the bed, and the temperature cold when I go to bed. I’m not a picky person about shoes, a lot of guys still polish and take care of them like the military taught them. (They taught me too, but I am definitely not wasting heartbeats on polishing my shoes!)

      I prefer spy and action genre in reading material, forget romance, Do It Yourself (you’re kidding! I stopped that twenty five years ago, life is too short!) I don’t mind bumper stickers, my wife can’t stand the thought of them on her car. I hate raw anything, vegetables, meat, fish etc. I’m over the caveman thing here. We got fire, use it! My ears just don’t work with “buds”, they either don’t fit, or are constantly falling our, even my super duper $129 bluetooth ear.

      As I was contemplating all this last evening at the Pub, I was in early and out early, so there were just a few building contractors who came for lunch and stayed for dinner and single handily established a new all time level of profit for Budweiser. How did I know that? Trust me I could tell they’d been there several hours plus. Any how I realized how much of a creature of habit I was! How I lived by my preferences, without ever another thought. “Glen (our beverage mixologist for the evening) hold my next Guinness and give me a Bloody Mary,…ok?”

       The man literally stopped in his tracks, snapped his head and said, “Did you say a Bloody Mary, not another Guinness?”   “Yeah, I thought I’d break out a bit.” Sure, how do you want it made?”

       Now that’s the simplicity of Guinness, teach them how to pour it once, reprimand any future errors with less than adequate tip deprivation techniques, and things go great from there. Over eleven years and they are all suitably trained. I drive in the parking lot, the first pour is made, by the time I get to my usual stool, the TV controller, a Bev-nap (Beverage Napkin) WITH a coaster (round cardboardish thing that the glass or bottle won’t stick to), are all in place and ready for me. A little idle “chit-chat” the second pour is made, and my Guinness is served to me, perfectly drawn. But how do I want my Bloody Mary made? How many ways can you make one? It’s Vodka and tomato juice right?

         I guess I had that lost lookin my eyes as Glen proceeded to help me out here. “You want the 16 oz. glass right, it lasts longer, and I’ll do the rim withCelery Salt, easy on the ice cubes, the Tabasco Tomato Juice mixture, wedge of Lime, skewered giant green olive,…no make that two olives, stirred with a splash of Worcestershire sauce on the top,….sound good?”  “Aaah, yeah , sounds like that might work.” A few minutes later he set it down in front of me (he knows I hate vegetables so no mention of the usual celery stalk was made nor set as garnish on mine.

        “Damn it tastes pretty good”, but doing a bit of number crunching, while I enjoyed it, analyzing the amount of vodka in it, (local pours usually finish up with,..”ten,….eleven,….twelve,…thirteen.”, instead of the usual “one,..two..three,…four.”) I  re-evaluated “switching gears”, as my friend Woody calls it, enjoyed it very much and decided seeing the sun set this evening without bars in the window was the better alternative.

       “Very good Glen, but back to Guinness. There are hundreds of widows and orphans depending on me to keep the Irish economy afloat and I would not want to disappoint them now, would I.”

       So what are some of your “automatics” or “preferences” you don’t think twice about, …..and let’s keep it clean for my women readers.

       Oh yeah,….and one for the road,….despite having used practically every electric razor ever invented, or marketed and sold, I still go back to the regular Gillette razor for a shave. I haven’t found an electric razor yet that makes my face feel as smooth as a baby’s ass, like a Gillette. ( Yeah I know, “How do you know what a babys ass feels like”, well,  having had three children I’ve done my share of diaper changing!)

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        Just noticed in my counter, this is my 299th blog! Guess I better put some time and thought into #300 before I just “pound it out”.