The Emerald Rose

Scene opens with Don Corleone sitting in the garden in his ratty old gardening clothes, and Michael in his tailored Armani three piece suit with a muted red and blue tie carrying his Camelhair overcoat and black Fedora. Michael leans in to hear Don Corleone,….

         “I didn’t want this for you Michael. I wanted more for you, Governor Corleone, Congressman Corleone, Senator Corleone,(sigh) …but not President Corleone. Too many eyes watching the President, you’re hands would be tied and it would be difficult to take care of the family business.”

         “But Pop, I would have Tom Hagen to help, and Clemeza to keep the crew in line.”

        “No Michael, No it’s not enough. Not enough for dealing with this new Global Economy. I told those whores at Lehman Brothers and AIG the sub-prime thing was a bad idea. I mean yeah they givin’ out da ‘merican dream to hard workin’ people, to people like our ancestors,…then they rip it away from them. They are whores Michael, pure and simple. They would sell thier young for a ripe orange, or a clove of garlic.”

         “But Pop, the government is gonna bail them all out, and……”

         (Don Corleone slaps Michael on the back of the head) “…Ow, what’s that for Pop?

         “How many times I gotta tell you,…huh? Never trust the Government. They call us thieves and bullies and murderers, spongellini macho maximus, they make us look like pussy cats! Never forget it Michael,…never.”

         So how do we handle it Pop?”

         “You call Clemeza, tell him to whack the heads of the five big Investment Banks, just like Moe Green and those guys in Vegas, remember? And then you tell Tom Hagen he should visit Nancy Pelosi and make her an offer she can’t refuse,…ah something like a week with that long haired hunk the women love, Favio, or Fabio, or somethin’. You tell Pelosi to roll over on Obama,…publically.”

          “What do mean Pop?”

          “Give her the pictures we got of Obama doin’ Bin Ladin, and Al’s zawhari or what  ever that other camel jockey calls himself, and throw in a set of the Obama and Michael Jackson pictures we got too, tell her it’s a gift from her Godfather, and that she should out him ten days before the election, got it?”

          ” Yeah Pop.”

         “And then you reminder her if it wasn’t for Tessio being unable to keep it in his pants that night with her then Santino would never have been born and then broke your mama’s heart when they killed him. And tell her Santino’s resemblance to Tessio was the only thing that saved her from gettin’ whacked, cause there’s no way your mama would have let Santino live if he looked like her.”

        “Got it Pop.”

        “Oh, and one more thing, tell her your boy, little Donnie, who runs the Genesco Olive Oil branch of the family has made a break  through. All that money we spent sending him to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology has paid off. He’s developed a hybrid olive oil that gives 136 miles per gallon in town and 183 on the highway, and I would do her a favor and cut her in for a taste on the stock. It’s gonna be called “Goomba Gas”. Tell her cooperate and she’s in.”

        “Ok Pop, but what about the next President, what do we do,how do we hanlde it.”

        “Ok that’s the easy one Michael, If Obama gets elected, no problem, we got the Kentucky Fried Chicken Franchises and the Watermelon Farms cornered, nothing gets out until he outlaws Hip Hop and Rap, and makes them all learn to wear baseball caps right, you know?”

        “Yeah that irks me too Pop, but what about McCain?”

        “Buy him another house,….maybe in Jersey. What’s another house to him huh? It’s low profile.”

        “And the Vice Presidents Pop?”

        “Get Biden a lifetime supply of Olive Oil, shouldn’t be more than two or three cases at his age.”

       “And Sarah Palin?”

       “Have Clemenza pick her out a couple of real nice guns, you know classic power hitters, and see that the light in the House and Senate mysteriously go out some day just after the election, have Clemenza cover the gunshots with a nice silencer for her,….and put some “bling” on the barrels.

        “Anything else Pop?”

        “Yeah, tell you’re momma you’re sorry for whacking Fredo like that,..”

        “But Pop! He was ratting us out to,….” (Whack to the head by Don Corleone)

        “Owww. Pop!”

        “Family is family Michael. And make sure we get our cut on the bail out from  Ben’s crew and tell Paulson he’s lucky I didn’t have him whacked when he was running Goldman Sacks. I never did like that crooked smile he’s got. Now leave me Michael, I gotta take a nap.”

        “Ok Pop.”

        “And Michael, put the Merrill Lynch Bonds on e-bay for me will you?”

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