The Emerald Rose

      That was the title of a really funny book from many years ago by Jack Douglas a really good comedian. He wrote another one called “My brother was an only child”, and one called “A funny thing happened to me on the way to the grave!” That was in the days when people could write good comedy.

       I’m trying to recall any good “comedy books” in the past ten years or so, besides George Carlin of course. We have comedy clubs, clowns on TV after ten p.m. who think they are comedians, and then there is e-mail!!!

      I guarantee you from all the e-mail jokes I get per day,(most with pictures because the folks who sent them think the picture of the sexy blonde putting the golf ball with  not top on and a set of 42DD’s and a caption saying “Is that a graphite shaft on that putter?” are writing a joke. It is probably more “ahem” tactfull than “Check out the hooters on this Ho'”, or on the other hand there are folks who send me jokes that are “dumbed down” for third grade consumption.

       But we seem to have lost “thinking” comedians. Oh sure Leno,Letterman and the others have entire staffs of folks chewing pencils and whipping of one-liners and topical jazz like “You hear about the Doctor who told Paris Hilton she needed a lobotomy, and she replied, “My ears are already pierced!” da,da ,….ching!

       Talk about a horror, imagine being married to a joke writer?  You need your rest, snoring you can adjust to, heavy breathing as well, but six hours of “chuckles”, Oy Vay what a night! Or how a bout having to take your Joke Writer spouse to a funeral? Sob, sob, sob ,…ha, ha, ha! Bet they’d be off the Christmas card list next year. Speaking of which, how many of you actually have a Christmas Card List anymore,….or do you just go to “Hallmark.com” and pop a distribution list on your e-mail and a generic little pithy remark on all of them, like, “I was just thinking of you and wanted to get you a Christmas card, like old times.” Liar, liar, your pants are on fire!

       How about a really good Christmas card like, “Frankly Charlotte I don’t give a damn!” or ” e-mail list of preferred presents, price and availability to follow”, or maybe a few naked pictures of a cat. (If you’re friends comment on getting these,…take them off your list, they are perv’s!

     Just a few random thoughts as I wait to go to the Pub in,…..OMG, it’s after 4pm eastern, I better go!

-30-