The Emerald Rose

It’s getting ugly in the trenches folks. As most of you know I manage property, and we have reached the “I don’t care what the law is” stage. The Board wants the money collected,…regardless of the law, the requirements and “due processes”,….to put it very much in the venacular,..”Just get our f**kin’ money.” But it gave me pause for a new idea for a business.
With the “Soprano’s” all over, no plans for a “Godfather IV” movie, and unemplopment (Ooooow! a typo with meaning! If you lose your job, can’t get another right away, or just said “screw it, I’m taking a break! You are not involved in um-employment, but “un-emplopment” that’s where you just hang out at home and “plop” your ass on the couch.) skyrocketing, well, maybe I can help a few actors with a job. I’ll give them the position of “Extreme Collectors” (Hmmm, could even make a good TV series like “Survivor”.) Let’s flash forward in my time machine, buckle up, ….here we go!
“Yo,….Mr. G, youse got any work you want I should do?”
“Gee Pauly, I thought they gave you guys from the Soprano’s good severance pay,…no?”
“Well ya “G”, but they left the Badda Bing open after da show closed and well,…ya’ know one ting leads to anudda, and next thing I remeber is the blonde with the huge hooters lookin’ over da’ pillow at me!”
“Aaand that would be bad ,…ah,…because,…”
“Well I reached for my pants to get my roll and pay her off, and somebody snatched it while I was in a state of,….well,… let’s say distraction! Mama Mia she had a 44D if she had anything,…ya’ know? So anyways my moneys gone and I need work. Ya’ got sometin’ Mr. G?”
“Sure Pauly, for you, and Tony would owe me the favor right, …I mean if they ever resurrect the show because of the lousy last ending and make it a made for TV movie right? I mean he’d take care of me right?”
“Hey! Mr. “G”, Tony and me is like ice cream and cones, not a problem, in fact he can fix it so you’se gets a couple scenes with one of his old bimbo goomaw’s, all I gotta do is ask.”
“Ok, Pauly I got something for you, but it’s a two man job, you ever work with Fat Clemenza?”
“Yeah,we did a stretch from 74 -81, some bad rap for scarin’ da shit outta one of them time share sales guys that wouldn’t give this sweet little old lady back her deposit. He was breathin’ when we left, I swear on my mother’s grave!”
“Well this one’s little easier, a sweet couple who owe about four months back in monthly assessments, not too much, only $960, but I can skim two bills for you and Clemenza off of that and let you get what you can above that $960 but only up to two grand,…capice?”
“So you’se just want us ta have a “discussion” wit dem, right?”
“What kinda “discussion”, like on their knees prayin’ kind or da’ ‘ tea and cookies’ kind?”
“Sort of in between, the Board wants them to know we are counting on them to do thier part, you know?”
“Got it, mess him up a bit, nothin’ visable, and kinda show him what we could do to da’ wife if he don’t get straight wit you’se.”

{MORE TO COME, STAY TUNED!}