Posted by: guinness222 | November 16, 2008

“Where’s the door? I gotta leave!”

Ways you know you are getting old;
1. You go to the new James Bond flick and you find you relate better to “M” than James.
2. You go to a place for a sandwich and Onion Soup (my favorite!) and have to take the soup
over and ask them to micro-wave it so the ice cubes will thaw and the cheese will melt
instead of just lying there staring at you!
3. You look forward to going home and sipping a glass of red wine and watching the Boston
College Football game,…..at 7 p.m. Saturday evening!!
4. Putting on your left sock casues excruciating pain in you left hip!
5. Your cats know the sun is up before you!
6. You sit for an hour and a half listening to the 72 year old Monsignor giving a sermmon and
then think to yourself,…”right on”!!!!

Ways you manage to cope with the above;
1. You take your wife to breakfast and she announces on the way that four other “couples” are
going to join us from the “Choir” as well. When they get there you realize they all
retired before you were born!
2. When the talk at breakfast does not involve a single disease or symptom you’ve ever
experianced.
3. When someone asks me if I nap on Sunday afternoon and I can reply, “Hell no! I go to the
Pub and slam a few Guinness with my older friends who like to get out!”
4. When I can still consider starting an underground movement to get Paris Hilton elected our
next President, and don’t drool thinking about her.” (Ok, she’s a rich slut, but the
operative word at my age is the “rich” part! 🙂 )

Sense of humor is begining to return,….slowly. But tomorrow is Monday, that will squelch the shit out of it.

(Quick aside, during the commercials last night during the football game I was “channel surfing” and foud the Godfather Part I, my reflexes are still good becasue I was able to “multi-task” extremely effectively between the two and never miss a beat,….well, at least until the pillow form the sofa slammed into the side of my head and the wife said, “Knock that shit off, just watch the football game.” (One step for man- the wife ordered me to watch a football game, one giant step for mankind – women can be trained to allow men to watch sports on TV and not bitch constantly.)
(Damn good thing my wife doesn’t know my blog address or CSI would have an active evening coming up here at my house.)
In the words of the Seven Dwarfs (is it Dwarfs, or Dwarves?) “Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, it’s off to the Pub I go, to drink some pints, and kill brain cells, Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho. (BRAIN FLASH!!!! I just got it! The “Heigh Ho” is elf talk for a tall “woman of the night”. Can’t slip anything by me!

-30-


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