The Emerald Rose

    After battling it out all season, for 12 or 13 consecutive Saturdays, it boils down to Jerry McGuire day. (Slang euphanism for the “Championship Saturday Games” in the National Collegiate Athletic Association for football, And I am deeeeeeep in the thick of it here in Florida!)

    My own personal team, The Boston College Eagles were picked to finish fourth in their division,….guess what, they finished first. Go Eagles! But at noon today in Tampa, Florida, (about a nine hour drive away) they will be playing the Virginia Tech “Hokies” who captured the other division, for the overall Championship of the entire Atlantic Coast Conference. Now also of interest Boston College also finished # 17th, nationally out of the thousands of colleges in the Entire United States that play football! Virginia Tech finished #25, and Boston College beat them earlier this season. (Did I hear a “So what” out there?) Now here comes the Jerry McGuire factor, the “SHOW ME THE MONEY!” edge. The winner of this game is automatically invited to the Orange Bowl, one of the so-called “Senior Bowls”, which means BIG, BIG bucks (Can you say Millions, and Millions of dollars kiddies?) for the school for the next year, plus a gazillion kids watching them play and saying “I want to go to that school, Daddy.” Which guarantees a better “recruitment” group from which to pick. It also assures the Coach a bigger raise come review time, more Professional Teams looking at your players to make them instant millionaires in “The Bigs”.

      So needless to say that is going to be my afternoon, (I’m doing dishes and washin my third load of laundry so far while the wife is out and doesn’t suspect, then at “half-time” of the game I’ll head for the Pub to meet up with some other “BC fans” to help them win big. (It may be a nine hour drive, but several pints apiece, trust me we CAN be heard down there!)

         Then just as we are wrapping up the game with a win (Come on God, I haven’t asked for much this year, work with me here,…please. Tell you what we win, it’s a ten dollar extra in the collection plate tomorrow, …cool?) The “BIG” game comes on. Alabama, the State immediately to the north of us here in Destin, fondly nicknamed “Lower LA” meaning “Lower Alabama”, the number 1 ranked team in the country, undefeated with 12 wins and 0 losses, will play Florida, the number 2 ranked team in the country with 11 wins and 1 loss. Not only are the $$$$$$$ much bigger, bragging rights are, as the commercial says, “priceless”. That game gets underway at 3 p.m., and will go until about 7 p.m. vast quantities of malt beverages will be consumed, enthusiasm will be at higher levels than a blind date with nympho maniac twins who make Angelina Jolie and Heidi Klum look like ugly third graders, and a substantial number  of heart attacks, skyrocketing blood pressure readings and “Screw the Doctors orders” will be heard in pubs across the South. The deep fried pickles, red hot chili, BBQ ribs, french fries, and any drink of the “shooter” variety with red (Alabama color) or Orange or Blue (Florida colors) will be thrown back by 80 year old graduates, holding onto the “walker” with the left hand and throwing it back with the right. (There is also a VERY good possibility that nine months from today there will be a “bump” in the Alabama birth rate that can not be explained. (Most Florida fans are not really “home grown” like Alabama, so a “hic-cup” in the birth rate may be slightly noticeable.)

      Fortunately for me I have no alleigence to either Alabama or Florida, so I can slide out after the BC game and not be a “blithering idiot drunk” when I get home, which will save untold grief and bruising.

     I can predict very low church attendance tomorrow in both Alabama and Florida, a definite spike in Advil sales, and a lot of absenteeism at the office on Monday.

    Then the worst part! We have to wait almost nine months for next college football season to begin. TRUST me they take it very seriously around here. Auburn University (Alabama’s biggest rival, only an hours drive apart) lost to Alabama this year. The Coach whose record was like 85 wins and only 32 losses in his tenure with the school, was summarily fired after Alabama beat them!! Now that is serious. Blimps and billboards have been used for decades that say “It’s ONLY a Game!!, but they haven’t helped.

      Stay tuned for our “post game blog” tomorrow and I’ll share the insanity and memorable faux pas at the Pub with you!

     “GO B.C.!!” 

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