The Emerald Rose

    Went to church this morning and afterwards I headed to our favorite breakfast spot, Don Pedro’s. As we are turning into thier parking lot my wife says, “We have to get a table for six.”

     Me says,”Six? Last time I looked there was only you and I here.”

     “Well Mary and Bob are coming and Phyliss and Charles from the Choir.”

     (Just lost my appetite!!) Mary and Bob are nice folks mid 60’s, both Accountants by trade, but he had an aortic stomach anerauysm, which they went to the Mayo Clinic to get fixed. They got the aneurysm, but knicked something in his spine now he’s confined to a wheelchair and then they tell him a “by the way” you’ve got congestive Heart Failure too. Nice guy, still a great sense of humor, but on FGP (“Final Glide Path”) of life. The other couple, Phyliss and Charles are in thier mid 80’s, neither one can really sing, but not my decision for Choir members, and both are hard of hearing!

       All nice people, but Jesus I can’t handle it! I don’t want to “hang out” with “old” people and people workin’ on the “third week of December” in thier life. Sorry, but life is for the living, sound selfish? I don’t care I’ve come to realize I am just an immature, self-centered 64 year old that does not want to face getting closer to 65! And I firmly believe that “hanging out” with “old” and “sick” people is simply going to make me one all the much faster.

       Everybody talks about the Holidays and all the kids and grand kids that came over and how they ate them out of house and home and how the place looks like an Iraqi village after a Predator missle thingy hit it. But you know what , I DON’T CARE! You knew that was going to happen, it always does. The days are all filled with banal small talk, those miserable “Remember when Johnnie was five and he tried to give the cat a bath?” subjects.

       I can’t decide whether I want to move to a deserted Island for a few months, with a soccer ball, or do “the usual”, go sit in the Pub, in front of some inane sporting event that really is “not my cup of tea”, (if the truth be told, I am not, and will never really be,..a ‘jock’) I can spend two or three hours watching a game , like yesterday, and not be able to really tell you who was playing or what the score was when it was over, but I can sure “appear ” to be into it. Or is that “self-medicating”?

       If you did not read my previous blog, I strongly reccomend you start there, then you will understand this one, hopefully.

      Well, something is on for a game today, every New Years Day is the height of a Collegiate orgasm for jocks, particularly here in the South. They eat live, breath, and die for College Football and NASCAR racing.

      Well, looks like the Doc and I will be having a discussion this week. I sent him the reports on my Aortic Untrasound scans from the local church “health screening” and as I said before he wanted me to go for a full series of Ultrasound scannings at the local hospital , which I did yesterday afternoon, so I guess he’ll want to talk about those, but being a tight bastard I’m gonna get a full discussion in on the “depression thing and tell him I’ll take those “somethings” he was going to give me in August. As long as it doesn’t have “contraindications” with whatever else he’s got me on and I don’t become pregnant, well,…what the hell!

      I really would like to be a pleasant person again and have a “purpose driven life”, because byGod, I am planning a much longer one than my current state of mind is indcative of, and it can be changed.

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   (Thanks Sue! You know why.)