The Emerald Rose

    Our fearless leader, “The Boy King” tried to call the landlords bluff and lost, so we have to move our offices across the hall this weekend. Sure would have been nice if he told us a little earlier than THURSDAY!!.

    But that’s OK, my response is , “Cool, but I don’t do ‘move’, to anywhere. At 64 with an 80% blocked Carotid artery you are freaking lucky I lift my coffee mug! I’ll pack my shit in boxes today (Friday) and I’ll be back on Monday,…..have a nice weekend!”

     I’m still waiting for my paycheck which he said “I’ll cut you a check the end of the month”, DUH!! It’s Friday, January 30, last time I looked it was the end of the month, Monday will be “next month”.

     Well, I didn’t lose it all (Thank God the computer is more intelligent than me and does auto-saves. WELL the nuns did tell me repetition, repetition, repetition was the best way to learn!)

       Anyway, sort of a really boring weekend shaping up, but here’s the lineup and the commentary for you.

     1. Saturday early a.m. Wife says we are going to clean the house in preparation of her sister from Boston, and her brother from Atlanta coming to visit, (they aren’t getting in until after midnight as they are meeting in Atlanta this afternoon and driving down together , six hours minimum)  I tried to tell her they were getting here in the middle of the night, exhausted, hungry, yada,yada, and they were not going to be inspecting the house, and besides, as a male it looks good to me!

      But NO,….she’s having none of it so if you don’t hear anymore from me it’s becasue I was driven like a slave and dropped dead with a pile of dustballs behind the toilet or some such place. (Yuck!!)

      2. As I said before, The Boy King is moving the office and you know what happens if you are not there, “Well, I thought you’d like the nice sunny corner office with all the windows and no heat or air,….gee, if you had been here you could have told them where you wanted your stuff,…everyone else did.” (It may be a very,very short day Monday, I’m begining to think hustling drugs in this economy might be preferable.) Besides I’ll probably go in Sunday just to be sure my computer is up and working for Monday. (Oh you’ll love this one. As I was leaving yesterday I asked him if he had the new key’s for the new office so I could get in Sunday to hookup my computer. “Your old keys will work we’re going to switch our old Front door over to the new office, that way we don’t have to pay a locksmith to change them.” Gives me cause to think just how fuckin’ tight is this kid? Maybe I better cash my check on Monday, not just deposit it.

     3. My brother in law coming down is flying back on Monday morning so he has a 30 hour turn-a-round, which includes the Superbowl at my house. Basically two problems withthat. He is a recovering alcoholic, for that I’m proud of him, but my wife, and her sister, are both pretty much “tea-totalers” you know? My wife counts drinks like people count cards, ( “That’s your second beer, you better stop now.”) So it will really be fun watching the game! (read as, yeah right sarcasm! No Busters unless I sign the divorce papers first!) My sister in law is bringing some clams fromNew England to “coerce me” into staying home with them, because my brother in law would feel really uncomfortable in a “bar” watching a football game. (Duh! They have AA meetings every day of the week for the past 18 years at Busters,….seriously, and even the owner is a re-covering alcoholic.)

      4. My remote computer software is malfunctioning (Thanks for Vista Mr. Gates, you should have sent it to th Iranians and let them try making eriched uranium with that on thier computers. Shit! All they would get is your damn “Security” splash screens) So how badly screwed up is it? Well I am getting hand written e-mails from a “Senior Support Engineer from Customer Advocacy” every day, saying,  “Here is a patch we designed, try this and send screen shots of the results” back” to us. (We are on Patch #4 now)

      5. Just the thoughts of my peaceful quiet home, my castle, my nirvana, being disrupted is freaking me out. Women just don’t get it. If my team is not in the Superbowl,…(read my lips here) I don’t give a shit about it, it’s just another game, and why was it that during the entire season you could give a shit about a football game, no matter who is playing who, yet you are treating this like it’s some kind of Second coming of Christ Welcome Home Party?

      6. It also means I will be deprived of “personal time” with my computer lest I be accused of being “anti-social”. My poor freakin’ cat, Mr. Hiss, will be hiding under our bed from the time they get here until Wednesday (Thank God he has incredible bladder control, you da’ man Hiss!!) There will be incessant chatter about meaningless shit, an ongoing soundtrack from “House” regarding MRI’s, CT scans, a herd of prescription medications everyone is taking, and on, and on. (I think my iPod is going to get a real workout this weekend.

                But Good news, brother-in-law is leaving on Monday, Sister-in-law in ten days, and the Social Securitry Administration confirmed in writing  to me that my first “retirement check” will be here around February 25th!! (Just in time for my extended therapy sessions!)

        My stock trading education is coming along fine, I’ll be starting a “practice portfolio” next week and we will see what my skill sets have developed into.

         Hope you have a great weekend, and look forward to my next posting as I fill in the details of this weekend for you to see if I was right or not. I can use the excuse of having to respond to some legal brief for our attorneys by Monday.

-30-

     And P.S. Why go to the gym, I told my wife this “Cleaning the House” shit is more of a workout than Richard Simmons, but it is not going to become a “routine” for me. No body at the gym goe’s “What’s your problem?” when you are panting and gasping for air,  but at home while you are  cleaning the toilet,  you ask me why I’m gasping for air and panting for breath?