The Emerald Rose

        Time flies when you aren’t looking. That’s always been one of the things about life that blows my mind. For example, as  kid it seemed like the school year was at least four decades long, yet as an adult it seems like yesterday I was wearing the long sleeve shirts and a sweater and cuddled up in my “snuggie” watching CSI, or NCIS, now it’s shorts and tee shirt weather here in Florida. (Less than that for spring breakers I can assure you. Some of the girls,….ah, what will I call the “bathing strings” seem to adherto them with just the friction of water and skin, and when you think about that it is defying science,….(sigh) but it creates the ultimate in eye candy for us old geezers!

        Plus keeping up with them is also unreal. They keep in shape by transfering semi-truck size piles of beer from thier 22 people to a two bedroom cottage by the sea, to the edge of the surf each day. (Well it’s really a one way trip as the cans and bottles are significantly lighter by the end of the day.

       Well I’m still oput there looking for a health insurance policy after the “Boy King” got my monthly pemium changed from $500 to $2300. It’s really a corrupt little industry. I can remember when I had my own companies getting health insurance was like strolling down “hooker row” the companies were all over you to buy them. Now it’s worse than I ever imagined. Even on-line applications start with the following disclaimers “Please set aside 45 minutes to fill out the application and have a list of all of the medications you and your family have taken in the past five years as well as the nemaddress and telephone numbers of every Doctor you have seen in the past ten years. Also please be advised any error, omission, or incorrect information provided to us constitute a breach of contract on your part and you may be subject to immediate cancellation. Please be careful of medication spelling and dosages and frequency, as a mistake in this may cause us to reject the application as well. If you have any questions please call our support line from 4 a.m. to 6a.m.  Central Samoan time for assistance.”

        My next rant,….ready? So why can’t we have a “Uni-form”, a basic form we fill in once and are required to update once a year ONLY, that is used for all business of any kind. From a job application to a visit with the Dentist or a Specialist type Doctor. With my recent “journey into the OZ of medical land”, I have never filled out so damn many forms, AND THEY ARE ALL THE BLOODY SAME!!!!

         I think receptionist school has a PHD course for form technique, you walk in to the office, she looks up with the deer in the headlights look and says something very stupid like, “May I help you, Sir” That drives me nutty as well. I want to look very seriously at them, slap a fiver on the counter and say something very rude like, “Look here’s your damn change from last night, you were the worse lay I ever had, and Honey I’ve had a lot.” And no matter what you say, “Ah yes, it’s about this convulsing lump on my arm that is leaking green puss all over the floor here.” She astutely replies, “Well sign in here on the sheet and fill out these forms and I’ll lat the Doctor know you are here.”

      Another bull shit answer. The only time she ever sees the Doctor is when he blows by on his way to the Golf course and  says something like, “Mary, cancel my two three and four o’clock appointments, reschedule them and ahh,….tell them I’ve been called away for the afternoon. Ciao!”

        “Ah, Doctor it’s Nancy, not Mary, I’ve been here six years now.”

        “Oh, right you had a couple kids a year back or so wasn’t it?”

        “A last month I had twins, and I just came back to work yesterday,…I missed it here.”

        “Ah, yeah, well get on those cancellations and then see if you can get the filing caught up again, we haven’t had anyone filing since that one that was pregnant left ,,…….oh,.. that was you! Oh well I’m running late,  good to chat with you Mary, keep up the good work.”

        But maybe that’s a great business to start in this down and out economy, “UNI-form it’s all the answers in one place, all the time.” I can envision it now. We sell it as a service to people, NOT businesses, that way everyone has complete control of their own information. Each client receives a personal credit card type card with everything on a “chip” much like the military does with soldiers health records and all, and you have a two stage password and confirmation requirement that you enter on the universal keypad, (much like a credit card machine, another offshoot sales money maker) and once you’ve entered your two stage encoding passwords the Doctor, the Dentist, the Employer, whomever you like then enters their counter encryption code and your info licenced and defined by you and you alone to be senbtis automatically e-mailed within three minute to them and printed. Damn, what a brainstorm!!!!!

       sims, help me out here, I’m the idea guy can we make it happen? The marketing would be done through and in connection with the Credit Card people, the technology already exists for the encoding and decoding and transfer, much like the system they use for “wants and Warrants” in the police cars using your drivers licence #.

      It’s a reverse spin, I like making the information the “property of the owner”, as that relieves us of responsiility and only the owner double encryption coding will allow access, and only the owner can do that. It would be sort of a Swiss bank account type of access security.

        Well, here I am wasting another perfectly good Saturday blogging and wondering what’s going to happen at my heart catheterization Thursday. I’m disappointed that they are just looking and there will be no interventional corrections, but as my friend sims said there is still room for more “walletopsy” before they really need to “do ” anything.

        Walletopsy is defined as the depth of availability of testing funds from all of the insurance companies and other agents or the patient themselves. To be best, and most easily understood it is very similar to “accessorizing” by the female of our species. You know an $18 dollar blouse and a $20 dollar skirt require an additional $300 worth of accessories to make them look good, shoes, baubles, earrings, eyeshadow, lip gloss, you know,….the “necessities”.

       I better stop now before I alienate every female in the free world!

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