The Emerald Rose

     Now that I’m cookin’ on all cylinders it is becoming time to be sure the time you are spending and the things you are doing with it are of value to you and others as well as not taking precious time off of your own life.

      I guess on my tombstone it should say something like, “Just a common man who did not play well with others.” Strange huh? Well let me explain a bit more.

     We all like to identify with someone or something. We all set goals in life and are shooting to attain them, and we all are put together with a large “variable”. My variable is simple I know I am just “passing through” this life, and the last time I looked there were no trailer hitches on hearses to take your “stuff” with you, so it’s a simple force that drives me,…use my brain and my heart to take care of my family, live life to it’s fullest, try new careers, and much like the Hippocratic Oath “Harm no one”. But I take it one further, I am bound and determined to make it better for everyone,…but I am most definitely not a real “team player”, nor do I feel remotely comfortable being “politically correct” or doing “what’s expected”, and most importantly I will choose my own friends and acquaintances and stand by them, not those I am expected, or “obligated” to owe allegiance.

       I have probably had at least 15 careers in my forty years of life, enjoyed them all, become a “Jack of all trades, but not a master of one”, why? Because life is a buffet so sample everything, don’t just take the caviar and Moet! Even down to the dreaded “green bean casserole”  that shows up in great abundance at all buffets! True some I like, some I detest, and some are better discretely concealed in a napkin and not swallowed, but I learn from that, I “educate” my tastes. And frankly I don’t like caviar, but the Moet, (or the Dom Perignon) or the Crystal are really yummy, …but so is Skippy creamy peanut butter, Cadbury Eggs, and Milky Ways, baked potatoes, instant potatoes, corn chowder and creme brulee. But unless you try them all and some of theirvariations,….well you’ll never know. For example, Skippy creamy peanut butter. It’s a 10+ on a scale of 1 to 10, and on some Hi-Ho or Ritz crackers it gets a 12+, but as a peanut butter sandwich,…well maybe I’d give it an “8”.

       Anyway I diverse. I’ve “played the game” and been members of the various “local organizations”, the committee for this and the task force for that, the President, all the other positions in between member and President, as well as the other “standard mileposts” expected to be a “successful” person,…but you know what? I’d rather sip a cold beer and chat with a stone mason, a carpenter, a retired executive, or a clerk. They are the “real” people to whom a spade is simply that, a spade, nothing more nothing less. Consequently the “I don’t play well with others”. You want something done, I’d be glad to, and for the most part I’ll make a hell of a difference, but it’s going to be “my way or the highway”. We are not having committee meetings, and “consensus” sessions, or the like. You are either going to love me or hate me,…but that is your choice, not mine, and I can live with your decision, justbe honest and tell me. Don’t (per the old adage) “shine me on”. Life is too short and time is too precious!

        Ok , now I’m not dwelling on it, but 60 days ago yesterday there were a couple of guys who ripped my chest open and were playing with my heart, literally. (Fortunately I wasn’t there mentally and had to trust that they knew what they were doing, which they did!) I’ve taken a lot of time and started to look at what I do, and the “things” that used to be important or were simply”career advancement” items. Things which were “expected” of me, things that were someone else’s “priorities”, not mine, and guess what? I was wasting my precious little heartbeats gathering up all their caviar and Moet, and not taking time to sample the rest of the buffet for myself! Damn I hate when that happens.

      So I resigned a “pro-bono” job I had taken on as the Chairman of Education for a peer organization this week. No one else seemed to care about getting educated for more career knowledge, but just to “get it over with” and meet the States continuing education requirements for licence renewal! Sure if I stayed with it another year I’d be voted on the Board of Directors, then progress up through the various offices to become the President, but I’ve done that, been there and have a number of tee shirts,….but despite everything I ever did as I worked through it, well all there was was the traditional “gold watch” at the end as another “charger” enters the flow and begins to try and leave their “mark” on things.

       The other thing I’ve been doing is evaluating what to do with the rest of my life, (I’m looking for at least another 40 or so years as an active productive inhabitant of this body!) So the big questions start forming up all by themselves. Like “How much do I really need to make to continue a “decent” lifestyle with my wife and family?”, ” and “What do I want to really do when I grow up?” and of course, “How best can I leave a “Kilroy was here” of myself on things?”

       So more changes are in order. Thus far I’ve actually done well in the “recovery and healing” arena and have no plans to scrap that end of things, salad, fish, and as my friend sims says, “Remember lettuce is the new pasta”. It’s not that bad no matter what I purport in this or to anyone else, ( and frankly I like being skinnier).

       Next is bringing to conclusion and resolution my “JOB” (anacronym for “J”ust “O”ver “B”roke ). the $24,000 in fees and my $18,000, and $1,620 in Social Security and pension payments is a lot more than when I got out of the service and had to scramble to get a job paying anything to support my wife and son and the one on the way! So that is just a matter of timing and execution and making sure I don’t get left with no health insurance for the next eight months. Still working on that though.

      Well, I’ve sufficiently bored you for today, but stay tuned for the next blog. It’s the one with the “What would I really like to accomplish or do before I become fertilizer.” In fact care to make any suggestions, at this point I’ll consider any of them you care to e-mail me. I’d like to finish my Bachelors Degree and graduate from Boston College 100 years after my Dad, but that would take another 28 years,….I’d be 92! Oh there are some others, but I’m saving them for the next blog or two.

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