The Emerald Rose

   A couple of funky things electronically this week I thought you might enjoy.

       1. My computer guru and I were settting up a new server at my house , in “the pit” so I would have a kick ass, slam bang full blown network cranking. (BTW if you have two computers on at all times you will find they throw sufficient heat to keep a three bedroom house comfortable in the winter in Florida, summer on the other hand is a bitch, the A/C runs 24/7!)  Anyway, I went on line to get a program called AVG, (IMHO the absolute best computer protection program out there), anyway I went through all the rig-a-marole, my guru had since departed, and realized I had it on my computer, not the server. So I called him. “That’s a piece of cake, just open that short cut I installed on your computer desktop and bada bing you are remotely connected and on your server, then download the program and install it. Sounds like child’s pplay , …right? Not happening! I wound up downloading nothing and installing a version I already had installed on my computer again on my computer! Later I get an e-mail telling me the transaction did not go through please do it again,…so I did. Again it was getting late so I decided a clearer head in the morning would make for an easy install. (My guru loves Cabernet Savignon, and he discounts heavily if I keep the wine flowing while he’s here! Needless to say after he left there were two empty bottles on the workstation! Thus the overnight delay in the installation.)

         Next morning I went on line to get the proper software key to install it, and noticed several messages from the software company. It seems like their computer screwed up and really did process the first order, and later the second order as well. Of course no apology, etc. and not even an offer or squeak as to “Show me the money!” So I went to my bank account and bingo, it was charged to my account twice, so I wrote them an e-mail about the entire situation, re read it after I finished and even confused my self! So I says, “Self!” “Call them up and speak to a human. Again easier said than done. Offices on six continents, thirty someodd cities, and not a damn phone number for any of them,…result? Go back and re-write the memo until it almost makes sense to me and send it with a final line that says “Call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX and we can straighten this out and get me my duplicate payment back” We’ll see what happens.

       (Oh yeah, I got the software key, installed it on my server, and life is good everything working well, except I’m out of pocket $160 at this point!

       2. Like Wednesday evening I get an e-mail on two of my e-mail addresses that come to my blackberry, from a credit card company for one of my credit cards. Ten minutes later I get a call on my B’berry from them as well. (I love it when you’re paid up to date and they still call you for something. You can do the “righteous indignation” shit on the call.

        “Sir , there seems to have been some fraudulent activity and your credit card may be effected.”

       “Like what? I checked it this morning and it was fine and all the charges were ok”

      “May I check a few of the recent charges with you?”

      “Sure, go for it buddy” (It really pisses me off that our un-employment is over 10%, but we have just about every East Indian and Pakistani hard at work on credit card lines and call centers!)

      “Ah,…sir, did you have a charge for $14.65 at Buster’s Bar & Grill on the twenty third?

      “Yeah something like that.”

      “And another from the same bar for $24.73 on the 25th?

      “Yeah, that sounds about right as well.”

     “And on the 27th at the same Buster’s for $18.56?”

      “Yeah, I take clients there for dinner occasionally, or a cocktail.” (of course I’m wondering if this is the health police, my cardiac surgeon, or just someone scamming me and I’m getting a little nervous)

      “Hmmmm. Sir we are going to cancel this credit card and re-issue a new one to you as a precaution. Would that be acceptable with you?”

      “Yeah, how long does that take?”

      “You should have the new card in about ten days”

      “Ten days? How do I entertain my,…uh..clients, until then? Can’t you guys just express it to me please?”

       “Certainly sir, you will have it in three days. Thank you for your cooperation.”

       “This isn’t some kind of scam to get my old credit card back or something is it?”

       “No sir, I can assure you. This is the fraud department of the XYZ credit card company. If you would like sir I can give you a call back number and a case number to check it out.”

       “Ahh,…yeah, give them to me.” So he did. I decided to give the dude a break and wait the three days before I went ballistic on them. Poof two days later Federal Express arrives and I have a new card!

       “Now I watch everyone of the bartenders at Buster’s carefully and check all my tabs with due diligence, I wonder what the hell happened. It reminds me of that old National Guard commercial “Sleep tight tonight,…your National Guard is on duty!”

       Oh well, off to the gym. I find a three mile a day treadmill hike at three to four miles an hour and some strength stuff on the Nautilus machines makes for a comfortable workout. BUT it is not losing me any weight! Do you suppose the “fluid replenishment” at Buster’s thereafter might be a “contributing factor”?

        Peace and a great week! I am going to make a serious effort to write at least twice a week, and three if time permits. (Yeah right you liar!) OK who said that?

🙂

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