Posted by: guinness222 | December 17, 2009

“Oh no,…even thge government says I’m an old fart!”

       There are many, many life changing events, like your first beer, your first kiss, your first car, and on and on. Each of those dates carries with it a long term memory for years to come. Those memories make you feel great, it’s the “notches in your gun” of life. Well,…today the gun backfired! I achieved another “first”,….but not really one I wanted to receive.

         My Medicare card arrived! Ever since it got here and when I opened the envelope and looked at it,…..well it was depressing. I know all the bullshit about I’m entitled to it, the government is just here to help me as I age (now that is the biggest pile of horse manure I’ve ever heard,we know they are not seriously here to help anyone!)

        I have an almost uncontrollable urge to go back to bed and wait to go to the hospital and die. I don’t look forward to the embarrassment of having to present my Medicare card at the pharmacy and be pigeon holed as “just another old fart”. I mean really do all these high end executives give their medicare cards when they go in to refill their prescriptions?

       It has become the “Gold Watch” of retirement aging now. It’s almost a “Here you go, enjoy,….you’re gonna die soon anyway.”

        (sigh) Well I guess I’ll see if they accept it at the Pub this evening, after all Guinness is good for you. In fact it’s known as “Vitamin G”. (Now where can I go buy a cane and a shawl in my “elderly period”)

         Speaking of that I must be getting old, I didn’t even get dressed today. I came up to “the Pit” to try and get a little work done before breakfast and here I am at 4 p.m. still up here working away, (or maybe it’s tomorrow already and when I look down over the railing at the dining room table my breakfast will be sitting there waiting for me,….naw, the damn cat would have eaten it by now for sure.)

          Tried my new Christmas present out yesterday at the gym, my heart monitor calorie counting, exercise zone charting device, wrist watch. It works very well. I was “benchmarking it against the heart monitors on the treadmill, and they stayed within one beat of each other for two hours. I’m impressed. It looks a little “gompy” , kind of like one of those “diver’s watches” with the black rubber wrist bands, and digital faces, (sigh) see another sign of old age, I prefer Mickey’s hands telling me what time it is, not some damn computer chip! But the numbers are nice and big so I can really read them, and one of the damn buttons on it lights up the time as well, (if I can just figure out which one!)

       Then to make everything worse they are having some kind of a “Blackberry e-mail outage” so I’m here at my desktop almost afraid to go pee because my B’berry won’t tell me it’s getting an important spam message for me about wheel chairs that are battery powered and shit like that!

       Oh,……sorry! Just dozed off, they tell me us old farts do that from time to time.

        Well I’m out of here, (oh shit, I don’t have a GPS in my car! Sure hope the car knows the way to the Pub and back.)

       Until we meet again mon ami. (Bet you didn’t know I could speak Chinese did ya’ 🙂


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