The Emerald Rose

Over the six or seven years I’ve been writing this blog I have experienced the gamut of feelings, from stress to sorrow, from a “need to communicate” to where I am now,…..feeling a dreaded ‘obligation’ to write an entry.

A few weeks ago one of my dearest “blogger friends” announced the end of her blog. At first I was incredulous, then a little angry, then after some thought  finding myself saying “Good for you,….fly free and enjoy life!” Such a range and compressed time span of emotions and thoughts for someone I have never met, never shook hands with, never ever uttered a single verbal word too,… yet that range of emotion was HUGE!!

“Lucy”, (whose real name I think was Eve) was both a good writer, and a good friend, but it happens to all of us at some point. Writing becomes a “chore” rather than a “love”,….alas I am fast reaching that same point. It was always a great psychological experience to just sit down and “pound the keys” an out would come thoughts, emotions, feelings and every other “element” of the human condition. Some times it was purely a “neutral” form of escape and a “nameless” way of being me,…without the repercussions of friends, and others knowing it was me and either commenting personally or by e-mail. No there is nothing “wrong” with me, I’m just being human,…in a real sense of the word.

As time goes on, and over 500+ blogs you all of a sudden get the realization that things are changing. What started out as a “lark” has become a “Dear Diary” mode,…but then you realize there are so many people, so many “search engines” and whatever other technological wonders out there literally stalking a word, a phrase, a single thought and pumping it back to faceless “users”. That is when it becomes really mind boggling. To think that hitherto unknown human beings, AND computer programs were watching and looking at everything you said, or better said,”wrote”.

Now do I really care? Most assuredly not,…but am I getting concerned at those who read, or try and know the real me somewhat! I am a human, my emotions, my surroundings, my friends, acquaintances, business relationships and all other form of “ME”,…well they change constantly, not just day to day or week to week,…but minute to minute. And if I am open enough to “share” that I fully understand some criticism, some “Go Guy” and some serious judgements will be leveled at me and on me.

But you know what? It’s only a “BLOG”! I write is to show the world who I am, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health (literally). I am married not only to my wife,but an entire universe of “bloggers” and folks who just hit the “bookmark” button.

But that’s ok, I can live with it,…but at this point in my life it is getting a little “old,used, and abused” so I’m thinking of taking a little “hiatus” and just living, breathing, and enjoying my life,….such as it is,…or what you think it may be.

Let me know what you think,……please!

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