The Emerald Rose

At 72 , just celebrated a fiftieth wedding anniversary, three grand children, and a REALLY great family who all love each other,….well, …it’s time for some retrospect comments.

Aside from the ‘good times’, i.e. Three fantastic grandchildren, fifty years of love and understanding from my fantastic wife, and owning (minus the mortgage) a great town home in a great Community Association,in Florida,….there are always the “OTHER” things that have also transpired. However they bring with them not only sadness, but an overwhelming sense of THANKFULNESS, thankfulness for the blessings of the Lord to have been here to witness them, learn from them, and see the bigger plan for all of us, for what we euphemistically call “life”.

While having been born and brought up a Roman Cathoilic, by my parents, there have always been “what if’s”, “how can that be fair”, and other crossroads as our meager lives progressed to “happen” around us! Those are the things I look back, in RETROSPECT”, and think about every day God gives me to be here, on this earth, among these people and more importantly, amidst the added time of my life’s expanse.

First off all let me say, at this point I’m not  planning on going anywhere soon,…BUT I also realize it’s not really “my call”, or as the great comment from Robin Williams who once said,…”death is simply  God saying,…”Your table’s ready now!”

But that said, what are the memories I treasure, and the failings I’ll admit to , now, (and those I won’t) and the joys and  the tears I never shed, because I had to be “strong” when NOW introduced other things to me, over the years. That’s what I want. To write about in this article, the “for better or for worse”!

Why is it the negative things “pop” into your mind’s forest while the “good things”, kind of “lurk” behind?

Anyway,…th biggest thought in “RETROSPECT” is that our youngest son, “Jay” passed away this year at 40 years old and the same week he just bought a new home in the Seattle are and moved his family , Maria, (his wife) , Ana age 8 and “Jay Jr” a/k/a “Jimmy” age 11 months to their decision to move to a place they dreamed about and a place where they could all grow, bond and enter their adult life together.

Also in retrospect was the realization that I was not the “business mogul” i always thought I was, but the “other guy” who keeps trying and for one reason or another misses the target, and has to start over, And at 72 years old it is very hard to summon up the energy, the mind set, and the physical and mental aspects of starting over, that were “a piece of cake” when you’re thirty or forty, ….and at 70 not so “capable” of doing it!

It has been a good life, and I basically have no regrets. We’ve raised a good family, but the only real regret I have is that our youngest child, Jay, passed away before us, this past February, just a week after his fortieth birthday, and leaving a super wife, and best friend, and two of the most gorgeous grandchildren any Grandparents, like my wife Barbara and I could ever hope to have.  But our time here is not within our control, it is the God above, whom some believe in fervently and others prefer to “wonder about” and “wait for further instructions.” Both my wife and I are firmly believers,……our children “not so much”! But we wish them a long and happy life, and hope that at sometime in the future they understand the reality of God and his guidance and love for all of us.

I wish I were more active politically, I wish I was more open to change in my more “active” younger years, BUT IT AIN’T  OVER YET!!!

Stay tuned for “Chapter Two –  What to do when a career is not your goal,….but a legacy”, for your past and present family !!

PART 2 -coming this week!!