The Emerald Rose

As a lot of you already know, my wife and I just celebrated 50 years of marriage together on June 10, this year. And along with the champagne, party, and renewal of our Wedding Vows at our Parish Church,was the pile of Greeting Cards (actually more than the number of Christmas cards we get each year!) etc.

But as I reflect on that , a month later, …..I reflect on what it took to get here, and go for the “next” fifty. A thousand jokes and one liners come to mind, because I’m 72.5 and she’s 70.6 years old. (Only saying,….what’s the probability of making 2117, ….without “drool towels”, vanilla yogurt, and liquid protein drinks being the “menu” at the next 50?

But that aside, I try and stay young in a number of ways, (most of them NOT fresh Vegetables, Fruit, and lots of exercise!) I thrive on LIFE, and LIVING, ….not just me but those around me. (For example, if I “hang” with old people I get older faster, …and if I hang with young folks, the  opposite occurs,…..I feel and get younger!!).

I’ve been reflecting on that in my daily Transendental Meditations (TWICE A DAY) for over a year. I’ve been meditating  since 2012, so you do the math,…that’s a lot of “thought time” to “go within, and go deeper, and deeper”, and watch the truths of reality unfolding before you’re eyes, and in your mind.

While we were basically VERY poor, dollar and cents wise when  we got married, WE SURVIVED! As we began a family, pursued careers and tried to achieve the “American Dream” we struggled. Barbara, (my wife)’s job was handling the basics while my job, was moving US forward in the DREAM! For both of us it was driving ahead EVERY day, EVERY week, EVERY month and EVERY year,……TOGETHER in EVERY WAY! It wasn’t about how much we needed for a down payment to buy a house, and who among us actually contributed the money to the cause. We knew the “jointness of our marriage, not the “my contribution, and YOUR contribution” It was an unspoken,….but fully understood by both of us!

I won’t lie, there were times and situations where it was almost overwhelming, there were times, and situations that pushed BOTH of us (us meaning individually and sometimes jointly) to a “BREAKING POINT”,…..but WE DIDN”T BREAK!!!

And that is the real point of both LOVE and MARRIAGE! It’s like a playground “see-saw”,…..you can go one way, or the other, but the hardest thing to do on a see-saw is to achieve perfect balance! And marriage has to be that “perfect balance”. Too much one way or the other, ……and there is no balance! If it were just a board where one sat on on end and one on the other and it did nothing how much fun would that be, and who would ever put one in a park? And just like a see-saw, it’s a constant battle to try and achieve that balance , no matter how much you work at making it happen! In fact that is the real “KEY” working 24/7 it’s to “TRY”, at 100% every day, and keep trying to make it happen, knowing full well the amount of time you’ll spend in “perfect balance” is a VERY SMALL percentage of the whole of your time together in marriage, or life, which are BOTH the reality of where you are today!

While no one is “ALWAYS WRONG”, and neither is no one “ALWAYS RIGHT”, the art of a relationship lasting, is when to “DIE UNTO ONE’S SELF” ( or in the vernacular, “SUCK IT UPAND, MOVE ON to the next problem, situation , or item in that life. ).

The REAL MEASURE of any relationship is simple,….can you succeed going in both directions,… OVER TIME TOGETHER! Can you “FORGIVE” even if you are convinced your argument is “right”, and your point is “right”?

Conversely can you capitulate, and accept FORGIVENESS, as a reality of life, and not part of your “RIGHT TO BE RIGHT”,…..even if you can refute, prove beyond a shadow of a doubt,……HUMBLY AND ACCEPTINGLY?

Such is “LOVE AND MARRIAGE” , the result is a stronger bond, a four lane highway to success and your very own,…. fifty + years of mutual love,…and respect!

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